Gate Clusterfuck
by PintSizedDragon
Summary: Edward, Alphonse, and Alfons Heiderich end up in the future, our present-day. They make the best of it, teaming up with two more people and forming a metal band. With their two slightly-eccentric friends, they must search for a way back home. Will their friendship stand the test of stretching between the worlds? Eventual RoyEd, AlWin, maybe others.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This story is slightly AU. Alfons isn't dying or dead. ..Yeah. If you're wondering who this is, It's  
**Here's what we don't own: **Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters. Any songs used in any chapter of this fic, unless noted. However, we do own Randall and Ruby!  
Also, The song used here is Nightwish- The Escapist. Look it up. You'll be glad you did.

* * *

The keyboard played out a soft and haunting melody, echoing through the amphitheater. The keyboardist's blue eyes, though soft, clashed with his brightly-colored pink hair. He stood alongside a smaller girl with black hair and a pale complexion as she played the lulling violin intro. The boy's fingers played quickly, setting the stage for the guitar and drums to cut in.

The lights focused in on a dirty blonde with grey eyes. His eyes were also much softer, but they held a happy and focused undertone. His fingers suddenly began skillfully ramming out powerful riffs, hitting each note perfectly. A guitarist with mid-length black hair stood next to him, complimenting his sound with matched skill.  
But perhaps the most interesting was the drummer.

The drummer beat relentlessly on the drums, his loose, long golden hair whipping as he pounded out the rhythm. He seemed smaller than the rest, and his brown eyes were full of fire and determination.. and livid excitement. He continued his rhythmic tapping, melody softening to fall in the background of the coming vocals.

The girl who had once been playing the violin carefully set it on a stand, walking toward the microphone. Lifting the mic from the stand, she began to sing, her soft, gently-accented voice resounding beautifully.

_Who's there knocking at my window?  
The owl and the dead boy  
This night whispers my name  
All the dying children_

As the guitars began again, backed up by the renewed strength of the drums, the crowd seemed to be lit with energy. Once the powerful mix of music quieted down, the crowd began quietly singing along to the words with the vocalist.

_Virgin snow beneath my feet  
Painting the world in white  
I tread the way  
and lose myself into a tale_

_Come hell or high water_  
_My search will go on_  
_Clayborn Voyage without an end_

The audience sensed the change in rhythm, and started shouting and chanting with the chorus. The air crackled with the wild electricity of excitement.

_The nightingale in a golden cage  
That's me locked inside reality's maze  
Come someone make my heavy heart light  
Come undone  
Bring me back to life_

_A nightingale in a golden cage_  
_That's me locked inside reality's maze_  
_Come someone make my heavy heart light_  
_Come undone_  
_Bring me back to life_

As the guitar built up a series of riffs, the drums took center stage, commanding attention with their masterfully-played rhythm. Both instruments match the strength of each other just before the vocals kick back in, the singer delivering the performance of the night with her powerful voice.

As the song finished, the crowd cheered ecstatically, still cheering even after the band had left the stage.

* * *

"Hell yeah! I _rocked!_"

"Brother!"

Ed looked around sheepishly, correcting his statement as he twirled his drumsticks in his left hand.

"I-I meant, _we _rocked!" At this, Heiderich sighed, the others just laughed.

Randall put his hands on his hips, grinning widely. "_Damn _I love playin' with you guys!" He pauses, grinning nervously. "Er, well, y'know what I mean."

Ed gave him a weird look.

"Do we?" he asked with a smirk.

"Oh I'm _sure _you do, Edward." Randall leered at him, grinning.

Ruby rolled her eyes.

"As much as we'd _love _to hear you two going at it in the room tonight.."

Heiderich gave her a wide-eyed look.

"HELL no!" Ed yelled out, glaring at Ruby. He shuddered. "No thank you."

"Well then, maybe you should keep it to yourselves. You know this place is _crawling _with fans. They'll twist your words," the dark-haired girl warned.

Al nodded in agreement, disgust creeping onto his face..

"They thought me and Ed had something going. I was enraged. For goodness grief! He's my _brother!_"

Ed makes a gagging motion, causing Randall to laugh.

"Welcome to the 21st century, boys."

"Oh stop being an ass. You can just fuck off about it already."

"Come on, really? You two are from the _past? _Worst of all, you weren't even drunk or high when you told us that!"

"The past, huh? I don't know about anyone in the past with golden eyes. But then again...You did seem... different when we first met you two." Ruby looked at them almost skeptically.

Al sighed and shook his head as he pulled his guitar off his shoulders.

"Ed I told you you never should have _told _them. You knew the odds were they wouldn't believe us."

"Yeah, but they're our closest friends. And.." His voice lowered into a mutter. "The closest thing we have to family here."

"I believe you." Heiderich's voice came from the back of the group.

"Well you fucking BETTER! You're from the past too dammit!" Ed suddenly yelled, pointing at Heiderich. "Don't try to play the sane card!"

"Somebody's a little short on temper..." Ruby muttered.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!" Ed nearly screamed, eyes lit with rage.

"Brother! Calm down! She's shorter than you are!" Al tried to pacify his elder brother. Ruby just twitched at the unintended insult.

"So was Granny, but that never made it less insulting!" Ed yelled back in reply, growling.

"Hey hey ladies, calm down. Do you want those fans to attack you like last time? Get your skinny asses in the bus. Go."

"Why Randall," Ruby said. "I never knew you thought my ass was skinny!"

"Yours, Ed's, both Al's. I'd tap any of 'em."

Ed's eyes widened in horror while Ruby simply looked unamused. Alfons had taken the smart route and decided to ignore them.

"And you believed it!" Randall cackled. "That's why it's so much fun to mess with you, Ed."

"Well leave your messing around for your bedrooms. There's thousands of those bloody fans out the door, and we've got to get moving." Ruby chided.

"I'd NEVER SCREW HIM!" Ed yelled, pointing at Randall.

"Are you sure about that, _Edward?_" asked a woman who was wielding a large camera, grinning as she began snapping away.

"PAPARAZZI! RUN!" Al zoomed off toward the bus, leaving the others behind.

"AL! What about me?!"

"Every man for himself!"

"AL YOU TRAITOR!"

Ruby sighed, dragging the unaware Alfonse out of the building and toward the van.

* * *

Just as they were about settled in, lounging as the bus rolled down the road, Ed having picked up his required book to get lost in his reading; the peace was broken by the albino cat that Alphonse begged his brother to adopt.

"Wha-Fuc-HELL! AAAL! GET THIS CAT OFF MY FACE NOW BEFORE I TRANSMUTE IT INTO A CHIMERA!"

Ruby and Randall looked confused, yet slightly amused.

"Transmute?" Ruby asked, a twitch under her eye. "Like the people in those fairytales used to?"

"Like the people in your _stories?_" Randall snorted. "You tell me you want me to let up on you, but you keep that dumb 'from the past' act up."

"Somebody's been reading a bit too much, wouldn't you say Randall?" Ruby asked, the smugness emanating in her voice.

"Oh shut up, _Ru_-by," Ed replied in annoyance, turning away from the others on the couch, focusing solely on his book.

She scowled, focusing on the passing scenery.

"Awright kiddies, relax. We're all pent-up from the concert. That can only mean one thing." Ed visibly bristled, turning only to glare as Randall continued. "It's _PARTY _TIME!"

Hei looked up.

"With Red Solo cups?" He asked excitedly.

All eyes, temporarily excluding Edward's, due to the fact he was still glaring at Randall, turned to Hei.

"..What is it with you and Solo cups?" Ed finally asked, breaking the silence.

"What? They're awesome! They're _disposable_, and plus.. Hey, you love red!"

Ed scowled.

"What does that have to do with anything? I wouldn't give a damn if they were purple!"

"Brother," Al started. "I don't think they come in purple..."

"I think Alfons there just likes buying red things because he knows you're attracted to them. I think he's trying to make you attracted to _him_," Randall states smugly.

Hei's eyes nearly bugged out, his face reddening.

"I-I-are you _mad_? I like _women_, not _men_!"

"Coulda confused me, I see you oglin' Ed all the time."

Hei sputtered.

"W-what!? No! I was just staring off into space! Edward happened to be in my line of vision..!"

Hei was saved by the bell. Or driver, rather.

"Ladies! We're here!" the all too perky driver called.

"YO CHUCK! WHO THE HELL YOU CALLIN' A LADY?!" Ed screamed, leaping from his lounging spot, completely abandoning his book.

"He calls 'em as he sees 'em," Al replied, just giving a smile and a wave to Chuck as he followed the others off the bus.

Ruby snorted.

"That's all too true, and hey, where's..HEI!" she clambered back on the bus, Hei staring off into space while petting the albino feline. "You can dream about sleeping with Ed later! Let's go!"

Hei snapped out of his thoughts, face turning pinker than his hair once again.

"I told you! I'm really not thinking about that! I swear! I-I'm into girls! Guys are too brutal, anyway!"

"Al's not," Ruby replied. "He's kind, gentle, and wouldn't hurt a fly. You'd date a gentle guy, right? One who isn't, how did you say, _brutal_?"

"Opposites attract," Randall butts in, sticking his head into the bus. "Hei's really quiet and gentle. Ed? Not so much."

"I DON'T LIKE GUYS!" Hei once again yelled in defence, face beet-red.

"NEITHER DO I SO GET OFF IT!" Ed yelled into the bus. "Let's go to this stupid party."

Ruby chuckled.

"Yeah, and my last name is _definitely _not Asmeira."

Al's head popped in.

"But Ruby, that _is _your last name. Isn't it?"

"It's called sarcasm. You should try it sometime."

"Al, let's _go_," Ed muttered. He grabbed Al's wrist and dragged him away toward Randall and the party location.

* * *

The DJ's music was playing loudly, filling the building with an electric vibe.

_Yellow Diamonds in the light  
Now we're standing side by side.  
As your shadow crosses mine  
What it takes to come alive.  
It's the way I'm feelin I just can't deny  
But I gotta let it go_

"I LOVE this song!" Al gasped, eyes widening with his grin.

"It's not bad," Ed mumbled. "I still like our music better."

"Except for music from the 1950s, it's the _only _music you like, Brother." Al shook his head with a sigh.

"Whaaaat? That music has _meaning!_ This is just.. sound."

"1950's, huh? Not terrible taste. But it's kinda depressing. This music is definitely more upbeat." Ruby said thoughtfully.

"It sucks," Ed replied plainly, crossing his arms.

"What did you say? Rihanna kicks _ass!_" a random guy retorted, stopping next to them.

"Hot ass maybe, but her music sucks," Ed replied, grinning.

"Why you- wait, are you the guys from Gate Clusterfuck?"

"Does anybody hit the drums like I do?" Ed replied egotistically.

"No, but I can hit quite well." Randall said.

"..Hit what?" Ed asked.

Alphonse face-palmed, then leaned in and whispered into Edward's ear. Moments later, Ed's face adopted a horrified look.

"AL! How do you even _know _about that? Here I thought my brother had retained his innocence!"

Al froze up a bit.

"Well...um...I gotta go use the bathroom!" he ran off.

"ALPHONSE ELRIC YOU GET BACK HERE!" As Ed chased after him, various voices could be heard in the crowd.

_"Is that the drummer from that band?"_

_"Gate Clusterfuck? No way! It's him!"_

_"No way! He really IS short!"_

Everyone in the building heard the blonde's scream.


	2. Chapter 2

The party had been somewhat of a success. Everyone but Ed had a killer good time, the blonde only having a bad time because he decided that he would. He played the cranky antisocial wall flower, ignoring anything and anyone he could, trying to steal away with a book-but he'd completely failed. He had been constantly interrupted by bandmates and fans alike, and had once thrown said book at a fan's face in frustration.

The party over, Ed revealed another reason for his crankiness: his awesome-as fuck drumming had thrown his automail arm out of whack, and it was twitching and locking up rather painfully.

Enter Alfons Heiderich, the rocket-scientist-turned-amateur mechanic/musician.

"Problems with your arm, Ed? _Again?_"

Ed snorted.

"You know how much of a toll drumming takes! It's not like your keyboard. That's easy."

"Easy? You think playing the keyboard is easy?" Hei waited while Ed began taking his shirt off.

"Easy on your _arms_. You know what I meant." Ed's shirt was soon fully off, revealing finely toned muscles, and where the flesh 'sleeve' met his chest over the automail port.

"Do I now?" Hei snapped back from his thoughts, having been slightly jealous of Ed's trained physique.

Edward huffed.

"Let's just get this over with."

Hei nodded. Removing the 'sleeve', he inspected the port, ignoring his temptation to run his fingers across where the flesh meets steel.

"Well, it looks like the wires here," he pointed to his upper arm, "and under your wrist are a bit tangled. I think you need new screws, too."

"..So what, do we have to take a trip to the friggin' hardware store? Do they even _carry _that type of screw? Amestrian sizes aren't the same as German!"

Hei sighed.

"I'll have to forge them myself. It'll take four days max. I know for sure that the hardware store does have the right wiring though. I'll send your brother while I make the molds for the screws."

Ed groaned in utter annoyance. "Four frickin' days. I don't _want _to wait four days!"

"Stop being such a baby, Ed. It's either wait or have defective prosthetics."

"Automail."

"I don't care what you call it. It's a prosthetic."

"HEY AL! GET IN HERE!" Ed suddenly screamed, nearly knocking out Hei's eardrums.

{I'm going to be deaf after this, I just know it,} Hei thought, holding his assaulted ear.

Once Al was sent out with the list of needed wires, Hei grabbed his little tool kit and proceeded to remove the protective plates of the automail, leaving the inside wiring exposed to work on. He sat the stripped screws aside, untangled wires and carefully disconnected a few.

"Take it _off _first." Ed hissed angrily, pain coursing through his body, evident in his glaring eyes.

"Oh-how could I forget," he mumbled, reaching up to disconnect the arm-but the sound of the door opening, followed by two loud voices entering, distracted them both.

"And know what he told me Randall? To get a fucking-...shit..." Ruby announced.

"..What? To get a shit?" Randall followed her gaze, spotting the frankenstein-esque scene in front of him. There sat Ed and Hei, Ed's arm-now a mess of metal and wires-splayed open and half-dissected on the table. "Holy.. what in the hell?!"

"...Edward..? What...is this a prank? Haha, you got me!" Ruby's voice raised a few octaves.

"S-some prank," Randall continued, looking nauseated at the scene. "..Shit man, that's real ain't it? What the hell?"

"W...Were you telling the truth...when..when you said..that..Hell. If you're really from the past, how'd you get such advanced prosthetics?"

"They didn't _have _them in the past, Ruby. See? More proof. If anything he's from the future!"

"Automail is normal in my world!" Ed yelled out in defense. "I told you, I'm from a different _world,_ not just from the past!" Edward sighed. "Geez, do you two listen to _anything _I say?"

The two simultaneously shook their heads.

"Either way," Ruby started.

"You three have some explaining to do." Randall finished.

"We.. already explained it." Ed replied, staring blankly at Randall as though he was the biggest idiot in either world.

"No, you didn't. You simply stated you were from a different world. You did _not _explain how or why you got that arm, what it's like in that world, or why you didn't show us the automail in the first place!" Ruby practically shrieked.

Ed groaned, putting his left hand to his face.

"Sit down and I'll explain."

Hei rolled his eyes.

"If only you did that in the first place."

"Shut up, Alfons." Ed waited until Randall and Ruby seated themselves. "Do you remember that story I told you about the Fullmetal Alchemist and his brother?"

"Sure, but we always assumed...Heaven help me. That was you and Al!" Hei looked confused as Ruby continued. "Not _you!_ The other Al!"

Hei blinked.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Edward Elric and his little brother, the soul stuck in a suit of armor." Ed snorted. "Those days are over, now. Al's got his body back, and I'm not a dog of the military any longer."

"What about that Roy guy you were talking about. You got the hots for him?" Ruby teased.

"WHAT?! Colonel-fucking-Mustang, the bastard womanizer?! Are you CRAZY?! I'd screw Randall before I even _looked _at Mustang like that!"

"You know, they say if you call people names, it secretly means you like them." Ruby smirked.

Ed looked flustered.

"Agreed," Randall replied. "Although, if that offer's still open," he trailed off suggestively.

"HELL NO!" Ed reached down, grabbed his automail shoulder and finally disconnected the arm. He got up, threw on his shirt with surprising ease, and stormed out of the room.

"Does that mean you're waiting for Roy?" Ruby yelled after him.

"FUCK OFF!"

"I'm sure he'd love to do that with you! You should ask him when you get back!"

"I'm going to transmute that bitch with Al's cat, just wait!" Ed fumed, unaware that the others could still hear him.

"Cool! I'd _love _to be part feline. I hear it increases sex drive!" she called.

"You do realize Al's cat is a boy, don't you?"

Ruby shrugged.

"Even better!"

Hei got up, shook his head and headed out after Ed.

* * *

"Mr. Elric!"

"Elric? Where?" Oh no. The fans had spotted him. It was officially the end of the world. Hopefully just this one, anyway.

Ed spotted the fans, slowly realizing that his automail arm was currently _missing_, and gulped nervously. {As long as they don't see that I'm missing my-}

"Whoa! Where's your arm?"

"Were you in an accident?"

"Are you bleeding?"

"Dude I just saw him in concert! He was _fine!_"

"Um..err. It's a magic trick I'm trying out."

"Then bring it back!" a reporter yelled.

"Yeah, let us see!" another called.

"Ah. A good magician simply does not reveal his tricks." He cleared his throat, then proceeded with. "Now could you get the _fuck _out of the way? I need to get back to my room!"

"_Brother! _You be nice!"

"It's his brother, the guitarist!"

"Get a shot of them together!"

"Bring your arm back, Edward!"

"No! I told you, it wouldn't be magic if I showed you how to get it back! Now fuck off! I'm pissed off and unless you want to be pissed _on_, I'd suggest you let us through!"

"Always that vulgar language," the reporter commented. "Makes for such good news."

Ed glared daggers at her.

"Shut up and get a life already. Don't you have anything better to do with your time?"

"Let's _go _already, Ed!" Al grabbed Ed's left wrist, pushing apologetically through the crowd and into their room.

"And they're back!" Randall announced, looking at Ed's slackened shirt sleeve. "..That will never _not _be creepy."

"Did you get the wires?" Hei asked, spotting the bag in Al's free hand immediately afterward. "Good. I can at least fix the malfunctions. You'll have to take it easy until I get the screws made, though."

"Can't you just get them at the hardware store?" Randall asked, raising an eyebrow when Ed groaned loudly and walked off into the room. "..What'd I say?"

"No, you imbecile. If I'm from a different dimension, obviously, it's gonna have some differences. Like screw sizes."

"Brother, he doesn't know that! How is he supposed to know?" Al grinned apologetically. "Some measurements are different."

"...Different dick sizes, too?"

Ruby laughed.

"I bet that's why he's after Roy-boy." she winked at him suggestively.

Ed nearly screamed in frustration. "For the _last time!_ I _don't _like him!"

Ruby sighed.

"Thats what they _all _say."

"I want to run away. I can't stay here with these idiots. I can't go outside into the fans. AT LEAST IN MUNICH IT WAS QUIET!" Ed groaned in frustration before he ran out the door, straight across the parking lot, and flew into the bus, slamming the door and locking it behind him.

The dark-haired girl groaned.

"Anyone wanna help get him out?" There were no volunteers. "No? Why?"

"C'mon, guys.. maybe you should just leave him alone for a while. Please?" Al asked cutely, and even Randall couldn't say no to that.

"Fine, we'll leave him. But we were just teasing. He needs to lighten up. Maybe...Alphonse..is there a way?"

Al looked perplexed.

"A way? To do what?"

"To get you guys _home_."

"Your _real_ home." Ruby added.


	3. Chapter 3

_"A way? To do what?"_

_"To get you guys _home_."_

_"Your _real_ home." Ruby added._

* * *

Alphonse stared, dumbfounded.

"How...do you..."

"Edward and Hei told us while you were getting...erm...whatever you were getting."

"Yeah. Ed's metal arm is clearly.. out of this world, if you'll excuse the pun." Randall gazed at the tour bus where Ed had disappeared into not long ago. "I don't know if you guys really are from the past, or the other side of that gate thing.. but wherever it is, it's not here."

"Or anywhere around here, for that matter," Ruby muttered.

Alphonse smiled.

"Thank you, guys. I appreciate it."

"So what's your home really like? I've heard those stories from Ed, and you've added a few things in once or twice while he was telling them.. but he always made it sound kind of old-fashioned, but with these awesome superpowers. You two were famous, in his stories.. but was that true too?"

The younger Elric nodded.

"Brother was known for his alchemy. People traditionally have to use a transmutation circle to use Alchemy, but brother just had to clap his hands together."

Both of the 'students' looked confused.

"Why is that?" Ruby asked.

"We think it's because of the Gate of Truth-"

"Which is?" Randall cut in. "We've heard you mention it several times. What is it, some kind of entrance somewhere?"

With a sigh, Al shook his head. {Impatient, just like Brother.}

"If you'd let me _finish_, I'd tell you."

Randall hushed then, patiently waiting as Al continued.

"The Gate of Truth is a large stone.. well... gate. It supposedly holds the 'Truth' about everything. Life, Alchemy, people, places, things. Even the past and the future."

"..Have you learned the truth?" Hei asked, leaning in from the doorway. He was learning more now than he had in all the time he'd known the Elrics, and truthfully he was intrigued.

Al shook his head.

"No, but Ed has been through that Gate so many times, Truth says he's lucky to be even be alive."

"If he's seen the truth and has all of this knowledge.. then, why is he still looking for a way to get home? Wouldn't he already know how to get home?" Randall asked, trying to wrap his mind around the whole 'gate' and 'truth' concepts.

Ruby had been mostly silent during the discussion.

"You said the truth, and Truth. There's someone named Truth? Is he like, the gatekeeper?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"It's not a topic we should be discussing, _Al._" Edward's voice came through the back entrance.

"But brother, you said it yourself.. they're the closest thing we have to-"

"_NO_ Al. This isn't the time to talk about this."

Alphonse stood.

"Then when is? Tomorrow? The 1910's? Ed, you're always hiding away, and you never want to talk to anyone about your problems! _Stop being a coward and running away!_"

"Al.. I don't want to drag anyone else into this. It's our problem, not theirs. Or have you forgotten what happened last time someone tried to help us? Or have you forgotten about _Hughes?_"

"_Brother!_" There was venom in Al's voice. "It was his choice to help us. I feel just as bad as you do about his death, but he cared about us-"

"And if you tell Randall and Ruby, you'll get them involved without their approval. Without _their_ choice-"

"And who's to say we don't care, that we don't want to get involved?" Ruby stopped Ed.

"Yeah, you guys are our best friends. We'd _die_ for you guys! ..Well, probably. Most likely. ..Well, it'd be hard as hell getting good musicians to replace you, so we'll help you guys in any way we can!"

"Nice save Randall." Ruby nudged him, rolling her eyes.

"Nevertheless, we can't involve you! It's not worth the sacrifice!"

"But it's _our_ sacrifice. We'll face it again and again, and the answer will always be the same. We're here for you, and nothing will change that." Hei said.

Ruby and Randall nodded.

"Life can hand you some really crazy shit. And I'll ride its crazy coaster. If it's going into the dark tunnel and coming back out into a different reality, then I'll take that. 'Cause it's what you make of it, not where you are or what you have. You guys? Yeah, you're kinda like family. I've come to like you more than anything else. Hell, more than the internet. I'd be bored without you. So if following you takes me to death's door, or this Truth guy, I'll follow you there. I guarantee you, the ride on_ that_ coaster will be way better than just driving down the road."

Ed stared at Randall after he had spoken, realization of the two friends' loyalty and, dare he think it,_ love_ for him and Al dawning on him.

"You'd follow us that far?"

Ruby nodded her agreement.

"_Sumus cum vobis donec finem_. We're with you to till the end."

Edward's face slowly gained a grin of disbelief.

"Shit.. no matter where we are, we're all really the same." Ed walked forward, giving Randall and Ruby a hug, though Ed would claim it was simply a pat on the back. "Thanks, guys. And.. Welcome to the Amestrian coaster."

Ruby smirked.

"Thanks for having us aboard, cap'n."

"This ship is bound to sink," Ed said with a short laugh. "With me at the helm, it's inevitable."

"Good thing we brought lifeboats, brother." Al smiled.

"Hey, I'm in for the ride too!" Hei shouted.

"Yeah.. I'm curious 'bout you," Randall remarked, looking at Alfons and pointing at Al. "You two are cousins? That's what you told us way back, but I'm starting to think that's not the whole story."

Ruby squinted.

"Yeah. You two seem too...I'm not sure. This whole experience has been weird to tell the truth, so I'm not sure what to say."

"He's.. my brother," Ed answered, catching Ruby and Randall by surprise. "Each side of the gate has an exact copy of a person. When I first came through the gate, into this world, it was just my soul.. and I ended up inside the body of someone who looked exactly like me. He had his own soul.. he and I were sharing his body." Ed trailed off, lost in thought for a few moments before he continued. "In the end, he died and I ended up back on this side of the gate in my own body. In an attempt to find my way home, I looked into rocketry.. where I found Alfons Heiderich. He's the double, or copy, of my little brother, Alphonse. So, in a way.. he's my brother." Ed grinned. "He may not be my _blood_ brother, like Al.. but I'd risk anything for him just the same."

Hei smiled, stunned but touched that Ed thought of him so highly.

"Thank you, Ed. But that still brings us to the question of,_ is_ there a way? To get back home, I mean."

"..Hell, I don't know. Between Al and I," he replied, glancing at Al, "we haven't found a way yet." {Al isn't really_ helping_ in the search either..} "It's hard as hell to study alchemy in a world where it doesn't exist."

Ruby smiled almost evilly.

"I guess it's time to do some master-thieving."

"Master-what?"

"Master-thieving. Stealing?"

They stared at Ruby.

"I never told you about my days as a cat-burglar? Damn..."

"..I'm pretty sure I'd remember_ that,_" Randall answered, a smile creeping onto his face. "_Do_ tell, miss Asmeira."

"...I'm in deep shit, aren't I?"

"You're fine if you share with us," Randall replied, almost giddily. "How good are you? What kinda stuff do you steal?"

"The most valuable I've ever stolen was military secrets. I _did_ get my fair share of scars though. My point is, the military has a restricted library. It's _full_ of goodies. I'm sure we could find something in there. Come on, you never asked where the funding came from to get the bus and instruments?"

"Our military had a library like that, too," Ed commented, snorting derisively. "That's the whole reason I joined up.. access to research to restore Al and I." Ed glanced out at the bus, Ruby's comment still fresh in his mind. "So.. you sold military secrets for your part? I thought you just had a stash of cash."

Ruby snorted.

"I kept the secrets for myself. Come _on!_ I live here too! No no, I stole a diamond. Ever heard of the Monarch Diamond? It's worth over 42 million."

"Holy _sh-_ how the-" Randall spluttered, eyes wide. "You're frickin' _rich!_ And you never TOLD US?!"

"Who do you think's been paying for your damn parties and food? It's not like I wasn't supporting you!"

"Our _record sales_ have been doing that!" Randall shot back.

"Yeah, later in the years. Before we were popular, and even now, I pitch in with the taxes! Or has your puny brain forgotten all about those?"

"I pay mine," Randall growled. "Don't call me cheap. I do my part. I pay my own way. Besides, if it's so much of a burden, then why have you been doing it for so long and just letting your grudge build up? I'm a big boy, I can take it."

"DAMMIT RANDALL! Stop twisting my words. I _never_ said it was a burden. You guys mean everything to me. If you really think that, maybe I should just leave."

"I'm not twistin' your words, Ruby! I'm just tellin' ya what it sounds like to me! Geez, I-what the hell is it with you women? First sign of conflict and you want to run away. Well guess what? Y'already committed. Your thievin' ass is stuck here with the rest of us." Randall crossed his arms, a grin slowly tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Whether you like it or not."

"Run away, huh? Is that what you think? Maybe you're right. Maybe we do tend to run away, maybe we do hide, but at least we don't give up. We fought for equal rights, we served as the backbones of wars as nurses, and you announce that all women just 'run away'. You know Randall, sometimes, I don't get you. You say one thing and mean another. I'm getting tired of the unclarity." she folded her arms, eyes on fire, lit with rage.

Randall tossed his hands into the air, flopping down into a chair. "I think _I'm_ the one who needs clarity. Can you please explain to me what I did _wrong?_ Y'know, without yelling? If I did something wrong, I'm sure not aware of it."

Ruby sneered.

"You're not aware of _anything,_ Randall. This is exactly what I mean."

"Stop knocking me into the ground like I'm an idiot! Just explain to me!"

The dark haired girl looked hurt, but the tears refused to show. Her voice softened to almost a whisper.

"There are some things you can't explain, Randall." She turned to the rest of the group. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to bed." She walked silently to her room, footsteps not making a sound.

Randall stared after her, but after a minute, he shook his head.

"Not that easy." He stood up, following her into her room, shutting the door behind them.

Al smiled knowingly.

"Those two."

"..Al?" Ed looked at Al curiously.

"Can't you see it?"

"See what?"

Al shook his head softly, almost laughing to himself.

"They're almost like Winry and I. We fought quite a bit."

"..Yeah? I can see they're good friends."

"..Have you ever even _been_ in a relationship?" Hei asked in disbelief.

Edward blinked, oblivious.

"..No. I never had time. I was too busy getting...Al's...body...back.." Realization hit him like Envy's fist. "Are you talking about what I _think_ you're talking about?"

Al and Hei looked to each other, then to Edward, nodding their heads.

"_Finally,_ he gets it!" Hei said, laughing. "For someone who's so smart, you can be really slow sometimes."

* * *

"Ruby."

"Why are you in here? I thought I told you I was going to bed?" she walked to her dresser, pulling out a night shirt and shorts.

"I'm not going to leave our conversation where it ended." Randall shoved his hands into his pockets. "Look, don't take offense to what I say, 'kay? Don't think I'm a shallow guy or a total idiot. I don't know fully what your opinion of me is. But, I just want to let you know what I think of you." He shifted the weight to his other foot.

"Randall."

He looked up at the sound of his name.

"Look, stop.._ interrupting_ me, okay? Just for now. You can do it later. I just want to explain. I think you're awesome. Yes, awesome, okay? I know it's cheesy. But you are. You're moody sometimes, but hell, you live with four guys who don't think the way women do, so it's understandable. You're generous, caring, kind, and I know we don't always express our appreciation when we should. But you know I couldn't live without you, right? You know we couldn't," he continued, not realizing he'd at first just said _himself_.

"Randall."

Randall looked up at her, glad the lighting in the room was dim enough to hide the slight tinge across his face.

"You're standing on my underwear."

Randall stared at her for a minute before reaching down, picking up and holding the thong up.

"I'll be keeping it, too." He turned to leave. "I'll leave you to your nightly Satanic worship rituals."

Ruby's eyes softened, and she chuckled.

"I'll have you know that those were from yesterday, and they still need to be washed."

"You shower every day. 'Sides, it's worth the risk."

She crumpled her face.

"I'm not sure you want what's on them. That party last night got a _little_ out of control. My ass is still sore."

"..Well, I'll just have to take the safer route then, huh?" Randall walked forward, twisting Ruby around to face the bed, before shoving her onto it. Before she had a chance to realize what he was up to, he had swiftly pantsed her, grabbed her lacy black underwear and gave them a quick, hard yank-ripping them clear off.

"Success!"

"You _pervert!_" She hollered, rolled to the side, whipped out a throwing knife and pinned him to the wall. She heard footsteps and threw on a robe, and pretended to shiver.

"Ruby!" Edward threw open the door to find Randall pinned to the wall by a knife, holding Ruby's undergarments, and Ruby shivering in a robe.

"...And you guys WONDER why I'm a virgin!" Ed said exasperatedly, pointing out at Al and Hei as though the rest of the world is insane.

"T-thanks Ed...nevermind the fact he almost tried to _rape_ me!" she inwardly grinned.

"Rape? Fuck honey, I don't have to rape anyone. As soon as a woman sees me, they're _willing._"

"Oh, so you ripped off my _favorite_ pair of underwear because you thought it would be _fun?_"

"I just wanted my prize."

"What. The. _Fuck is wrong with you people in this world?!_" Ed nearly screamed. "YOU'RE ALL INSANE!"

"Don't look at me! He's the one who did it! I'm not even sure what _prize_ he's talking about!"

"She pulled a knife out of _nowhere!_ Who KNOWS where she was hiding it!"

"I'll have you know that a good ninja never reveals her secrets! And stop thinking I hid it in my ass! I'm not_ that_ sexually depraved!"

Randall stared at Ruby for several long, hard moments, before he finally cracked-and began laughing like a hyena. "A-A NINJA? A _NINJA?_"

Ruby started laughing too, before stopping and whipping another knife, this one with a string attached, at her dangling panties, before whipping them back.

"Hmph. That'll teach you!"

"Damn right it will," Randall replied, looking down at her ass. "I need to really_ figure out_ all your secrets. Reconnaissance mission in 5, 4-"

Ruby shrieked.

"Absolutely_ not!_ This stuff is for me to know! You don't need any reconnaissance missions!"

Ed just looked horrified, possibly scarred for life, while Al and Hei were just snickering madly at the whole ordeal.

"You guys are awful! Though really, where the hell_ do_ you hide all those knives?"

Black eyes looked at him humoredly.

"Hun, you _don't_ wanna know."

"But I do," Randall replied, grinning.

"I'm sure you do, but this is one girl you're gonna have trouble wooing." she said snarkily.

"Ah, but you did not say impossible!" Randall replied triumphantly.

As Ed walked out, praying that he would forget the whole scene, Ruby just shook her head in disbelief before shoving Randall out. The last thing Ruby heard before she shut her door was Randall.

"Goodnight, mi amor!"


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **The next few chapters will be a bit less musically inspired. Don't worry, this isn't turning into a raid fic!  
Also, in case anyone's curious: In chapter 1, at the concert, Ed has brown eyes. He wears contacts in public. Mhm. Forgot to mention that.

* * *

Ruby laid out a map of a restricted government library.

"Remind me again how you got this?" Hei asked, staring at the document.

The raven haired girl smiled in a very eerie fashion..

"Let's just say I have friends on the _inside._"

Al visibly gulped.

"Now." she pointed to what seemed to be air-ducts in the blueprints. "I have to get to the restricted section with Ed, seeing as he knows what he's looking for. The rest of you need to take out guards as...well, a distraction. When we're done, I'll have a ride outside."

"Great, give us the easy part." Randall snorted.

"Grow some balls. It's not that hard."

"Easy for you to say." he muttered.

Ruby smirked.

"Nevertheless, you all understand the mission, right? Do _not _get caught. Smuggling people is harder than smuggling weapons."

Alphonse spoke up while he had the chance.

"I guess it's safe to assume that the guards are armed."

Ruby nodded.

"Yeah. The armor truck has some tranqs and a few machine guns. I recommend the tranquilizers though. I don't really want to deal with dead people today."

Hei was a bit perplexed when he heard about the guns.

"Ruby, I'm not good with guns. Can I just be the watchman?"

"Wh-bu-fine. But you _need _to be paying attention. Tell the others when there's guards approaching. Can you do that?"

The pink-haired boy nodded.

"Yes ma'am!" he mock saluted. The girl nodded.

"Let's move out!" they clambered into the somewhat-inconspicuous van and set off, praying this mission would be a success.

"Nice van," Ed commented, looking at the black exterior. "Way to go in-cog-nito."

"..Why in the world did you say it like that?" Randall asked, raising a brow.

"Like what?"

"In-cog-nito."

"..Because it's more fun that way."

"And here I thought you matured more than that," Hei commented.

Ruby rolled her eyes.

"Shut it boys. We're about here." she hailed the driver, being Alfons, to stop.

"Why are we stopping so far away?" Alphonse asked.

"Because, they _totally _won't notice the giant black van rolling up to the restricted building."

"Oh." was all Al said.

They exited the vehicle, grabbing various weapons on the way out. Randall, having reached for the stun gun, accidentally grabbed an actual pistol, holstering it as he followed the others-unaware of the deadly force at his hip.

Ruby made a forward motion as they silently covered the last few meters. The group spilt, Al and Randall on one end, Edward and Ruby on the other. As Al and Randall approached the front gate, all hell broke loose.

"Hey Al," Randall whispered, just before their assault. "I gotta confess.. I _never _did anything like this."

Alphonse gave Randall a grin more devious and mischievous than Randall knew Al had in him as he replied. "I'll go in first, you just follow my lead."

Randall gave a nervous nod.

"Uhh, yeah, gotcha."

Al sized up the men in view, took a deep breath as he felt the adrenalin begin to rush through his veins, and finally, took off at a swift and silent run. He raced toward the nearest men, easily silently striking before he was even noticed. Alphonse had repeated this action and taken out nearly ten guards before any of the remaining conscious guards noticed something was amiss. At that moment, the lights came on and sirens began buzzing, triggering more guards. {Like some kind of video game,} Randall thought, tailing nervously behind Al, letting the younger Elric do all the fighting. Damn, he felt like a wuss.

"Ruby must've gotten hold of the books with Ed!" Al shouted to Randall.

"Or our attack triggered the alarms, you idiot!" Randall suddenly yelled, his voice raised in obvious alarm.

Back on Ruby and Ed's end, things were going rather smoothly. Until the alarms went off. The were just outside the room when the alarms sounded, the security measures shutting all of their exits off.

* * *

"What-what the hell! What happened?!"

"Damn! I'll have to wire this door open." Ruby knelt by the steel box. "Ed, come here."

Ed knelt beside her, slightly confused. She then proceeded to grab Ed's right wrist and smash in the compartment.

"HEY! You could have just ASKED!"

"Thank you, for your cooperation." Ruby began messing with the wires.

"What fucking cooperation?! You just grabbed my fist and used it like a HAMMER!"

"Yeah, and you didn't stop me. Now shut up, you're giving me a headache." she continued messing with the wires until a little red light came on, opening the steel door.

Naturally, being a government facility, the place had a top-notch, state-of-the-art security system, and Ruby's little hacking was detected and located immediately. Great; now the security guards knew just which way to go.

"Dammit! They must've learned from last time I was here. Let's see. Let's do this," she threw low-velocity trip mines further down the halls. "And then, run in here. Hurry Ed. We don't have much time."

"Shut up and move," Ed said, following her faster than she thought he could, for carrying that heavy automail on his frame. "How much further is it?"

"Just past this door here." She pulled out a fake card and slid it into an opening, opening the library door. "Get your ass in there and find what we need."

"Guys! There's guards approaching the stairwell!" Hei's voice came through the earbud.

"Shit. Ed, get your leather-clad ass in there and get the damn books!"

Ed raced inside and quickly browsed through the books, searching for anything related to alchemy. Surprisingly enough, he found the alchemy texts in under three minutes. He grabbed the entirety of the collection-six aged but sturdy books-and held them up to show Ruby.

"This is all of ﾑem!"

A loud booming sound was heard, muffled by the library walls.

"Aaaand there go my trip mines. We've got to go. Don't drop them!"

Ed carefully stuffed them into a duffle and followed Ruby, who had already pulled out the card.

"Do you really need that?"

She smiled.

"No, but we can't have them getting my fingerprints, now can we?"

They sprinted down the hallway, throwing open the doors and literally jumping down full flights of stairs. Ed did this with a surprising grace, enough to make Ruby admire the way he masterfully vaulted through the building like a monkey.

They finally made it down the stairs, spotting Al and Randall out front, holding their own against the still-appearing guards.

"Brother! Ruby! Over here!" Al called out, clearly beginning to tire.

Randall's eyes lit up when he saw Ed and Ruby, knowing that his part would be over soon. He didn't know how many more punches he could take.

"Guys, you _have _to get out of there! The military is sending a whole platoon!" Hei's voice rang in their ears.

Randall's eyes widened to the size of silver dollars. {THE MILITARY?! Shit, shit.. what've I gotten into?!}

"ALFONS!" Ed screamed into his earset. "LET'S _GO!_"

"We got it! Getting out!" she landed a K.O elbow hit to the back of one guards neck before dashing toward the front doors. "Forget the rest of'm! Let's go!"

The lot of them raced toward the gate, clearing it just as their ride arrived, tires skidding as it swung to a stop several meters from them. With a quick glance back, Randall spotted one guard nearly on their tail. Without thinking, he yanked the pistol from his holster and fired at the guard, expecting something more of a taser shot than the loud, echoing sound of gunfire. Though he didn't expect the gunfire, he most _certainly_ did not expect to hit the guard dead center of his forehead. Randalls eyes widened in horror at what he'd just done. Murder. He'd just committed _murder._

Ruby, looking back, saw Randall's horrified look and grasped his hand.

"You're ok, Randall. We need to get out of here!"

He managed a coherent nod, and ran with the rest to the van, still shocked enough to not register what happened around him. The moment they stepped in, Hei had slammed the gas, fearing for their lives.

"Alfons, go northwest!"

"What? But that's right toward the lake!"

"Just _trust _me! When we get to the water's edge, hit that yellow button above your head!"

Hei shook his head almost disbelievingly, and muttered something about fractured sanity.

"This'd better work, whatever it is!"

"Have you ever heard of a Duck, Hei?"

"Yeah, they quack!"

"Not _that_ duck! A Duck is a type of car. It has a boat motor, allowing it to drive _and _float."

Sure enough, when Hei pressed the button, a roaring engine sprung to life, shocking Randall from his stupor just enough to cause him alarm when they careened headfirst into the lake.

"WHAT THE-"

"..Holy shit it actually works!" Ed remarked as they leveled out and began gaining speed on the water.

"This is really great and all, but _I have no clue how to drive a boat!_" Hei shouted.

"ALFONS SHUT UP! IF YOU CAN DRIVE A CAR AND YOU CAN DRIVE A ROCKET THEN YOU CAN SURE AS HELL DRIVE A BOAT! Now go go GO THEY HAVE HELICOPTERS!" Ed yelled out, bordering on hysteria.

"God. Hei, can you _possibly _go any slower? Hit that green button next to the emergency brake."

"O-Okay!"

"Green means go! Green means go!" Randall suddenly yelled, grabbing Ruby's arm.

They suddenly lurched forward, practically flying through the water, as compared to their seemingly-idling previous speed.

"How fast does this thing go?" Ed shouted.

"About 139 knots!" Ruby replied, straining to talk over the loud motor.

"Which is?"

"260 kilometers an hour!"

"Shit! How fast we going now?" Edward asked.

"Not fast enough!" Al pointed out. Helicopters were swarming the skies.

"Almost hitting 100 knots," Alfons wheezed, glancing behind them using the side mirrors. "Ruby you-you know this thing! Take over!"

Sighing, she stood, albeit shakily, and walked to the front, taking Hei's seat.

"Everybody strap in!" she yelled.

Hei grabbed the seat nearest Ed, buckling in just after grabbing something small from his pocket. He lifted the plastic and metal item to his mouth, but the wave Ruby just bounced over caused him to drop it.

"Ah! H-hey! Ruby g-get that for me!"

"What is that? Shit Hei, is that an _inhaler?_"

Hei nodded, putting a hand to his mouth to hide the wheezing, which was only growing worse for his panicking and the bumpy boat ride.

Ruby looked over to Ed, who had watched the scene and spotted where the inhaler had slid to.

"Dammit. Edward, there's a safety kit above your head. See if there's one in there!" She frantically looked to the autopilot. "I'd rather not use the autopilot here!"

Ed grabbed the safety kit, clutching it in his lap as he flung it open, digging around inside.

"I.. it.. there's none in here! _Shit._" Ed quickly unstrapped himself, leaping toward the new home of Hei's inhaler. He reached under with his left hand, finding it _just _out of reach.

"Dammit!" Ruby slammed the autopilot and flew to Hei's side. "Hey, hey calm down, Ed's getting it."

"It's too far forward! We need more speed! Ruby, slow down and then speed up as fast as you can!" Ed glanced back at Hei, who still had his hand over his mouth, eyes now shut as he focused on trying to calm himself.

"Wait, what the _hell_ is going on?!" Randall suddenly spoke, looking between them in confusion. "Why does he need an inhaler? HE DOESN'T HAVE ASTHMA! He never did _before!_" Randall was still suffering from shock from earlier, only adding to the drama.

"Hei?"

"He doesn't have asthma, okay?!" Ed nearly yelled. "RUBY, MANEUVER THE DAMN BOAT!" As soon as he barked out the order, he glanced at Alfons again. "Ever since we were in the past in Germany when Alfons was working on rockets, he's had damaged lungs, thanks to some shitty rocketry exhaust fumes, okay?! His lungs are compromised, but you can only tell in really bad situations like this!"

Ruby went to the controls, switching auto off, then rebooting the boosts. A loud cuss was heard.

"Fuck!"

"Ruby! What's the deal?" Al asked, looking over at Hei worriedly.

"The boosters are shot! One of the damn helicopters shot it!"

"Fuck, they're too close!" Ed quickly weighed the situation. Three helicopters followed them. Their vehicle was disabled. Hei needed his inhaler in the next few minutes before he passed out. Randall was still in shock, proving at the moment to be more a liability than anything. With a loud curse, Ed bit into his left arm and used his right hand to smear his blood onto the console. He then clapped his hands together, slamming them onto the console-and with a bright flash of light, the entire boat slowly transformed into a watertight capsule, at the same time leaving the inhaler exposed and within reach. He grabbed it, throwing it to Al. "AL! Catch!"

Clearing his head, Alphonse caught the inhaler and thrusted it toward Hei.

"Here! Quickly!"

Alfonse grabbed the inhaler and put it to his mouth, the others finally able to see just how badly off he was. He was shaking badly, each quick and sudden breath accompanied by flecks of blood on his hands and at the corners of his mouth.

With a few quick clicks and a few failed inhales, he finally gets the medicine into his system, relief slowly arriving as it went to work.

Ed finally released his held breath, grabbing his still-bleeding arm in relief, unaware of the sets of eyes that were settling on him.

"What the hell _was _that? That light? This van?" Randall looked around, finally growing aware of the situation.

Ruby stood and picked up the fallen first-aid kit, grabbing the medical tape and bandages.

"Alchemy," Alphonse whispered as he watched Ruby go to work on his injured brother. "It _works _here..?"

Ruby was silent, hardly making any noise. When she finished wrapping Ed's arm, she set the extra supplies back in the case and hung it back on the wall. Returning to the control panel, she picked up a small radio and spoke what seemed to be Latin.

"That was alchemy?" Randall continued.

"Yeah. It's harder here," Ed replied, sitting in the available seat next to Hei. "On our side, it doesn't need blood to work." He leaned his head back, feeling slightly lightheaded from the blood loss.

"Sumus compromised ... et ... Ego postulo Curatio ﾅ"

"Does anyone know what the fuck she's saying?"

Ed peered up at her, narrowing his eyes in thoughtful concentration before speaking a few words.

"Loqueris Ishvalan?" he asked her.

Ruby looked up in surprise.

"Ishvalan? I speak Latin."

"Latin? This is the language of Ishvar. I would know. I've been there many times," Ed continued, still in the Ishvalan tongue.

"I've never even _heard _of Ishvar. Maybe they are similar between the two worlds."

Ed watched her carefully for another minute before he shook his head with a smile.

"Ah, sorry. All these years and I still get mixed up."

"It's just the blood loss, brother," Al added in, giving Ed a light pat on the head. "Now, we have more pressing matters.. Ruby, do you have a way out of here?"

She nodded her head yes, before motioning to a hatch above Randall's head.

"There's diving gear in there, complete with air tanks. The shore is less than a half mile off, so we should be okay."

"..Diving gear?" Hei looked up, once again breathing normally. He glanced at Ed, who was eyeing the hatch. "You mean swimming?"

"Precisely. The tanks help you breathe underwater. They're good for about eight hours. It should only take us a quarter of one."

Hei paled as he nodded.

"Yeah, o-okay." He remained silent as Ed assisted his brother and Ruby in getting the suits out of the hatch and divvied them out to the group.

Once they had geared up, she tucked the books into a waterproof case and gave it to Edward. Then, she walked to the capsule hatch and turned the knob, releasing the door. They nodded to each other and swam out, but Ruby stayed toward the back of the group, feeling a twinge in her stomach. {Something isn't right here..}

Then she saw it. A dark blue fin hiding in the cover of the darker water, slowly growing nearer. {Shit. I _really _hoped this wouldn't happen!}

She felt a tap on her back moments later. As she whipped around in alarm, she spotted a concerned Al motioning for her to join the others. She smiled and waved them on, but Al didn't seem to be buying it. He crossed his arms, giving her an expectant look as he waited for her.

{Dammit Al, I don't need this now.} Then, it struck. Gaping jaws closed around where she had been moments before, Al swimming backwards in alarm.

{SHARKS?!} Al raced forward, grabbed Ruby's arm and yanked back, saving her from a second attack. As the shark closed in though, he saw no escape-and yanking her back once more, found himself right in the path of the shark. He held his arm up in defense, just as the teeth descended.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **All Latin will not be translated. It's really not vital to the storyline. Sorry! :D  
Also.. the language equivalent to Ishvalan is probably like, Arabic. Due to easy translation purposes, we're using Latin. Sooo yeah. :D

* * *

_{SHARKS?!} Al raced forward, grabbed Ruby's arm and yanked back, saving her from a second attack. As the shark closed in though, he saw no escape-and yanking her back once more, found himself right in the path of the shark. He held his arm up in defense, just as the teeth descended._

However, the teeth were not strong enough to bite through the solid steel of Edward's automail leg. Used as a decoy, Ed pulled his arm back, tensed his muscles, and twisted-throwing every bit of premeditated force he could muster into one bone-crunching blow, the shark's skull caving inward before it released Ed's leg, immediately dead. Shark blood filled the area around the carcass. They quickly swam, catching up to the others and motioning them to swim as fast as they could.

Alfons was keeping up with the slow Randall, but as Randall quickened his pace with the others, he began lagging behind. He tried to swim faster, but as his breathing quickened, fear held him back and he just watched the others race away. {Wait..!}

Ed suddenly noted his absence. {Shit. Where'd he go..!} He kicked, flippers increasing his agility and speed, back toward Alfons. Reaching him, he tugged on Hei's arms, pulling him as fast he could through the water.

{Why are we hurrying?} Hei wondered, moving as fast as he could, before he chanced a glance back-and saw three sharks swiftly racing toward them. His pupils dilated as he sucked in a breath of terror, caution thrown to the wind as he let out a very muffled scream and kicked as hard as he could to plow through the water.

Ed spotted the sharks and looked at the rest of the group, wondering why the sharks didn't stay with the carcass and mess of blood. However, he quickly realized why they're being followed-with a glance at his left arm, he spotted the red liquid slowly seeping through the suit from his bandaged arm. {Fuck, they're after _me._}

With a quick twist, Ed turned, racing away from the group, luring the sharks away from the others.

Al was unnerved. Edward had left the group, and hadn't returned. Looking back, he spotted some blood. He followed the trail with his eyes, only to find that his brother was the source. {Brother!} He swam fast to Edward, praying he would last. {Don't you dare die on me!} He made it in time to deliver a kick to one of the shark's eyes, blinding it halfway.

Ed looked at him with wide and angry eyes. {Al you idiot! Get out of here!} Ed motioned for Al to leave, giving him a crazy grin and a thumbs up.

{Ed are you INSANE I'm not going to-}

Ed swam away from Al quickly and clapped his hands together in the water. The trails of blood littered throughout the water suddenly lit up into a brilliant blue, painting a beautiful yet eerie picture in the dark, murky water. Suddenly, tiny jets of water zipped toward the sharks, impaling each one hundreds of times, leaving nothing but tattered carcasses slowly sinking toward the lake floor.

Ruby was getting ready to dive back in, worried for Edward and Al's well being, when their heads broke the water's surface.

"Hell! What was the...hold..up.." looking at the blood surrounding and soaking the brothers, she visibly paled.

"Sharks." Ed yanked off the breathing apparatus. "What I'd like to know is WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SHARKS IN A LAKE?"

Hei shrugged.

"This _is _Government property. Shit goes down here."

"Yes, but.. it's a _lake. _Sharks don't belong in a lake. They belong in the ocean. Saltwater. Not a lake."

Leaning down, Ruby dipped her finger in an unbloody part of the water and tasted it. She scowled.

"It's fresh water, all right. Just what the hell were they doing with these sharks?"

"I always KNEW the government was insane! Hell, I thought it was just the AMERICAN government! Fuck. There's SHARKS. IN THE FUCKING LAKE."

"Something definitely not right here. But that isn't our main concern. We still need to get you three home. And I need a shower. I smell like-"

"Ass." Randall finished for her.

"Actually, I was gonna say your cooking, but that works too."

"Funny," Randall mumbled, turning to Ed and Hei to check on them. "How-uh, how's your arm, Ed?"

"Still there," Ed murmured in reply, patting the rather sore arm through the wetsuit. The wound is soaked through, and no doubt on a swift road to infection.

Hurriedly, the raven girl unzipped the duffel and pulled out gauze.

"Don't ask. I don't even know why." She quickly got to work on Ed's arm, doing what she could to disinfect the wound. She looked up at a pale Ed. "Are you ok?

Ed?" She shook him, but he was hardly responding. "Shit." she mumbled. "Help me lay him down!"

The group easily got Ed on the ground where Ruby would be able to work on him better. Hei backed up, watching guiltily.

{If I hadn't been so slow, Ed wouldn't have had to come back for me. Hell.. if I didn't have a frickin' _breathing problem, _we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!}

Sighing, Ruby finished what she could.

"We'll have to carry him...Hei, can you help me detach his automail? He'll be way too heavy to carry with it on."

Hei nodded shakily, and carefully and painlessly he disconnected Ed's automail arm. He handed it to Al, announcing that he'd be carrying Ed.

"His leg!"

"It's not as heavy as you'd think," Hei commented. "Besides, he's.. lost a lot of blood. That makes him a lot lighter." Hei paled at the thought.

"Are you sure? With your lung problem-"

"That won't be a problem!" He suddenly barked, glaring at her. "I'll be just fine carrying him!"

Ruby flinched, not used to Hei acting like this. Acting like a hurt puppy, she tailed the back of the group, watching her feet as they walked. Soon, a small helicopter landed near the rocks.

"What the hell!" Randall shouted, understandably a bit on edge due to earlier events.

Ruby shook her head.

"It's fine. Remember I was radioing some people on the boat? We're safe now." She exchanged a few Latin words with the pilot before ushering the band inside. {I'm so tired. So cold. I should have never done this mission. But Ed and Al..No. I will not regret my decision. They have families and loved ones to get back to. I...I can be strong for a little longer...If only just for them..}

"Did you hear that brother? We're safe now!" Al looked over at Ed, who just offered a smile and weak wave in answer. However, Al's attention is drawn to Alfonse. Not wanting to make a scene, he walks over to the two. "Hey, Alfonse.. do you want me to take him? I don't want your breathing to get worse."

"My breathing.. is fine. Don't.. treat it.. like a han-handicap, okay?" He glared up at Al, but when he saw the genuinely concerned expression in those grey eyes, his face relaxed. "I'm sorry. It's my-my fault that-that Ed-" he slowed down, relaxing his breathing. "If I didn't..have this problem.. Ed wouldn't.. be so sick now.

So I want to.. help him as.. much as I can."

"That doesn't mean you should harm yourself to do it. He wouldn't want you to do this to yourself on his account, and you know it." Al held his arms up for Ed, giving Hei a cheerful smile.

Hei looked into Al's face; a near mirror of his own. He smiled as he gently transferred the exhausted and weak Ed to his younger brother.

Ed squeezed his arms gently around Al as he was lifted onto his brother. He closed his eyes, relaxing, murmuring something too low to be understood.

Al shifted his weight slightly, turning his head to better hear Ed.

"What was that, Ed?" However, before Ed spoke, Ruby called out her instructions.

"Adepto nobis outta hic. Sumus laedi!"

The pilot nodded and turned back to the controls, preparing to take off.

"Why do you speak in Latin, Ruby?" Hei asked, hand fingering the inhaler in his pocket.

She looked over, smiling softly.

"These men that work with me, they're war heroes, some even POWs, or prisoners of war. They've been in camps so long, they hardly remember their English."

"..And you? How do you know them and come to work with them?"

"Some I just met at bars, others were thought to be illegals. I vouched for most of them. In return, they offered to use their skills however they can to help me." She looked to the pilot. "They're irreplaceable."

Hei smiled softly, glancing over at Ed and Al.

"I'm just glad we missed the war when we skipped those decades. I don't know if Ed would have made it. They were targeting the crippled, you know? Ed might not look it, but he's more limited by that automail than you might think."

"Yeah. I've learned about the war. I heard it was horrible, devastating war. Hitler, I believe the Nazi leader was. He was an evil, cruel man. It's sad how many try to follow in his footsteps."

Al looks up, his gray eyes stared at her.

"In both worlds, too. You know.. the man who was leading our country was much like Hitler was. The only difference is that he wasn't human."

"Was? What happened to him? What what do you mean he wasn't _human?_"

"General Mustang killed him," Al replied. "Fuhrer Bradley was in league with the others to try and turn the.. well.." Al trailed off, glancing around the helicopter. "I think we'd better save this conversation for later."

Ruby nodded and laid her head back, relaxing as the craft carried them farther from danger.

"How much longer?" Hei asked.

Ruby looked up, then spoke to the pilot.

"Quanto diutius?"

"Septem minutes." Came the reply.

Ruby turned back to Hei.

"Seven minutes, he says."

"We need to get antibiotics for Ed as soon as we can," Al said, glancing up at Ruby just after she told them how long.

Ed mumbled something into Al's ear, but thanks to the engines, Al couldn't make it out.

"What was that, Ed?"

"I said.. I'll be fine. Don't gotta rush. I just need rest." His voice was so tired and weak, Al was surprised he could make out all of the words. Al looked up at Ruby, giving her a ﾑPlease hurry' look.

"Tumultuarios! Ibimus, celerius aliquando?" She asked the balding man. His eyes shone, taking pride in his machine.

"Etiam. Full Iugulus!" He tampered with the panel before increasing the speed drastically.

"I said not to rush," Ed mumbled, cracking his golden eyes open, words heard only by his brother. "I c'n unner.." He trailed off, exhaustion finally overtaking him.

"That's right. Edward speaks Latin, doesn't he?"

"Ishvalan, actually, but it's so similar, it might as well be."

Randall remained silent, staring out the window into the night air as his mind continually replayed the horrific scene from earlier. The hole in the guard's head as he fell after the echoing gunshot. All dealt by his eager hand.

"Randall?" Ruby called softly. "What's on your mind?"

At Randall's continued silence, Hei gave the man a nudge. Randall jumped, looking up and around wildly, eyes wide and panicked.

"Randall? We're safe now. It's okay...Why are you so panicky?"

Randall's eyes landed on her, his posture calming before he looked away, still silent.

"Dammit Randall! I'm trying to help you. Tell me what's wrong!"

"Let it go," Randall replied, his voice low, small.

"...No. Not when you're hurting like this."

"Ruby, for once, will you just-just let it _go?_" Randall pleaded, turning his head just enough for her to see the unshed tears in his glaring eyes.

"Never. Not when someone I care about is in this much pain. I _will _find out what's wrong."

"What do you _think _is wrong? I KILLED AN INNOCENT MAN!" He suddenly screamed, shocking the others.

"...Is that all? Randall. I'm sorry. But he would have _killed me. _For that, I owe you my life. Randall. This is a battlefield. If you didn't want to fight, I wouldn't have stopped you, but you should know, not all of life is roses and rainbows. Not in a world like this."

"I wanted the stun gun," he replied quietly, turning his head away and closing himself off to the world once more.

"You're lucky it wasn't. It would have taken longer to kill him. A needle through the brain isn't as nearly painless as a bullet."

Hei watched Randall for a minute, then turned to Ruby with a frown.

"I don't think he heard a word you said."

"It's best that way. I _want _to be sappy, to tell him to let it out, cry. But this isn't about us. This is about getting you three home. We can deal with our problems later." Ruby sighed and looked out the window of the landing aircraft. "And...with this crazy mission..it seemed inevitable not to kill. There will be things like this all through his life. He'll.." her voice cracked a bit. "He needs to move on and forget about it."

"You say it like it's that simple," Al replied, looking up at her with his deep, soulful grey eyes. "Is killing something that comes natural to you?"

"Alphonse. Understand this. Killing is something I _never_ wanted to do. But if it means protecting the _ones I love, _then I won't even think twice about doing it. We don't have alchemy in this world. We can't block attacks, we can't instantly capture an enemy. It was hard on me too, but I didn't even have a family to look out for me. They were stripped from me, murdered in front of my eyes. I knew, from that day forward, that if killing is what it takes to defend what matters to me, then I won't hesitate, nor think about the consequences, of killing."

A small smile tugged at Al's mouth. "You know.. you sound just like brother. Ready to take on the world."

She mock-grimaced.

"I'm not sure whether to take that brother comment as a compliment or an insult." However, as she looked into his eyes, fixed on the sleeping Ed; she saw in his content smile that it was definitely a compliment. {Thank you, Alphonse.}

Having landed on the hospital roof, nurses placed Ed on a stretcher and hurriedly rolled him inside. Al followed right alongside them, ready to smack anyone who opposed him. Hei followed, wanting to ensure Edward's maximum safety. Only Ruby and Randall remained in the helicopter. The pilot had taken a smoke break.

Randall glanced over at Ruby, spotted the absence of his friends, and unlatched himself from his seat. He stood, walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her neck to pull her into a hug. His trembling form and tight embrace conveyed his unspoken need for comfort to her.

"You heard? About...my family?"

"Felt like a dream," he mumbled ashamedly. "But.. yeah."

"I...I don't know anymore Randall. I try so hard to be strong, to let everyone know it'll be ok. But I'm ripping at the seams. And I'm missing the needle and thread to sew them back up."

"Weld 'em instead," he mumbled. He tightened his grip. "We are a _metal _band_, _after all. You don't.. look, let us carry some of it, 'kay?"

She gave him a smile, sniffling a bit.

"You sure your aluminum can hold it? It might be a bit too much. I'm titanium, after all."

"..You're so damn stubborn and retarded," he replied, releasing her. She caught fresh tears in his eyes before he wiped them away.

"Then if you weld me up, I might just return the favor." she tugged on his sleeve. "Let's check on Ed."

Randall nodded and followed her into the hospital, where the first familiar person they met was Alfons.

"Randall! Ruby!" His face displayed relief. "Ed's going to be fine. He's getting antibiotics and a blood transfusion. He's going to be fine," he repeated.

"We can't stay here," Randall suddenly blurted. "They must have had cameras right? They must know what we look like. They can _find _us."

"Damn!" Ruby exclaimed. "I forgot about that. Let's grab Ed and the supplies and get back to the heli. Jameson has plenty of knowledge on this shit."

"Move him? But he's right in the middle of recovering," Alfons objected after hearing the plan.

"You don't _get _it, mister I'm-from-where-there-is-no-tv," Randall stressed. "They have pictures of our faces. They'll find us and they won't just put us in jail, they'll find out where you and Ed and his brother are from and then what? You want them to rip his automail apart and study him? You want them to use their advanced technology to wage war on their word when they figure out how to get through?!"

"Randall is right. We need to get him to one of the safehouses. We can stay there for about a week before changing locations again. This world is much more advanced. They'll have pictures and alerts everywhere soon. We _have_to get out while we can." She began walking toward Ed's room. "Randall, Hei, come help me."

Both men obeyed, walking in after her to find Al sitting next to a napping Edward hooked to a blood drip.

"We have to bring the equipment with us. Hurry, they probably already have our location."

"We're moving him? _Now?_" Al protested, looking up at her in panic. "But-"

"But nothing, we have to go," Hei replied, looking frightened. "Come on, you have to carry him."

"Yeah. We'll explain in the copter, but at the moment, your world is in danger if we don't get out."

"_Again?_" came a voice from the bed. Ed opened his eyes to look up at them, closing them immediately afterward and letting out a groan. "How are we always causing so much trouble, wherever we go.."

"That's for you to ponder later." Ruby lifted the tube apparatus. "I cannot stress just _how _important it is to get the hell out. Now no more talking. Let's go!"

Al helped Ed to sit up, but just as he was getting Ed's clothing, he heard a metal clang. Attention turned to Ed, who had stubbornly tried to stand and help himself, only to fall over onto his metal arm due to dizziness.

The girl sighed.

"Just carry him, Al. We've got the rest." She started out the door.

Hefting a protesting Edward into his arms, he followed after the others, running to catch up. Just as they exited the door, the alarm bells rang.

"Shit. Everyone in the chopper. Jameson!" She motioned to the smoking man to get in the aircraft.

"Tutus domus, domine?" He asked urgently.

"Etiam, digne valeam nuntiare." She replied.

"Fuck Latin already, it takes too long to speak!" Hei yelled.

"And German is faster?" Ed retorted weakly. "Shut the hell up, Heiderich."

"Brother!"

"He doesn't speak anything else, anyway. So deal with it!"

"Latin sucks," Ed commented, leaning his head in the crook of Al's neck. "Ruby, your team sucks. Fuuuuck. This whole _day _sucks."

"Brother! Just because you're tired doesn't mean you can be such a-"

"Dick?" Randall finished.

"Well _excuse_ me for trying to save your life. And besides, is it their fault they spent a number of years in a Latin prison camp? Yeesh, Have a _corazon, _Edward."

"Shut the hell up," Ed whined, clutching pathetically at his brother. "Shut up, Winry, stop being such a _nag!_"

"...I'm assuming he's gone delusional, right? I don't really look anything like that girl, do I? I thought she had blonde hair. I have black."

Al points to himself, then to Hei.

"Amber hair and blonde. But no, you don't look like Winry." He glanced at Ed. "I think he's just confused. He needs rest."

"Right. Jameson! Eamus."

Said man nodded and flipped on the _Specter, _slowly rising into the air.

Ed jumped a bit at the roar of the engines as they powered on, glancing around.

"Huh? We on d'run again?"

"Yes, brother. Just relax, okay?"

Ed grunted, shoving his face back into his brother's neck. The others can tell Ed's definitely unwell.. this is something he'd never do normally.

After flying a while, Ruby told Jameson to stop.

"Terra. Operiendum copter virgultis et verto off semita. Possumus non invenitur." Nodding, he set it down in deep woods and shut it completely off. They carefully took Ed to the safe house, making sure he was comfortable and taken care of, before returning to cover the helicopter with leaves and branches.

Inside the building, an exhausted and still-confused Ed laid restlessly on the bed, reaching out for Al, who was quick to return and comfort him.

"Al? Al, th'hell are we.. we home..? ﾑere's Winry..?"

"Hush, Ed. We're not home. We're still in Germany, remember? You lost a lot of blood and you're tired. Just get some rest, okay?"

Ed's half-lidded golden eyes looked up at Al, staring straight past him.

"Al, I.. I wanna go home.."

"We're working on it, brother. Just go to sleep."

Tears slowly formed in Ed's eyes before he closed them, rolling over and weakly murmuring one more sentence.

_"Please Al.. take me home."_

* * *

**Reviews appreciated! ~Ruby and Jyxxie**


End file.
